Social Media and Children: When is it safe to start?

A comprehensive guide to understanding and introducing social media

Social media has become a normal part of everyday life, intertwined into how we connect with people, share stories, and stay informed. Whether it is chatting with friends and family or discovering the latest trends, more people are choosing to socialize through their screens – it is no wonder that children are looking to do the same.

As a parent, knowing the right time to introduce your child to the wide world of social media can be overwhelming. What’s the best age to start? Should you put any rules in place? What are the risks and benefits of late or early introduction? In this blog, we explore what parents need to know about children and social media so that you can make your own, well-informed decision, on when to allow your child to use social media.

Children who are already on social media

An important fact we can consider now is that social media has been around long enough for us to begin to understand the positive and negative effects it is having on people, especially children. When social media was first introduced it was seen as a fun way to be able to express yourself and interact with people worldwide. Whilst this is still technically true, we now are seeing the effects that social media is having on people who have been on the apps from a very early age – both positive and negative.

We conducted a global study of nearly 25,000 children and parents¹ to further understand how children use their smartphones and here’s what we found:

• 51% of children have been contacted online by strangers.
• One in three has been encouraged to take conversations to private chat rooms or messaging apps.
• 56% of kids report being insulted or made to feel small online.
• 40% have been sent sexual or violent content.
• 52% of children feel addicted to their screens.

With all the children taking this survey being under the age of 15 years old, these numbers are especially concerning.

As part of The Better Phone Project, an initiative run by us for better understanding on what parents and experts want in a phone that’s meant for teens/children, we were able to discuss the effects of social media or early exposure to social media with researchers and medical experts. In The Better Phone Project we also had the opportunity to speak to Emma Lembke, a Gen Z smartphone activist and co-founder of the Logoff Movement.

Emma was part of the ‘first generation’ of social media users- having had social media since the age of 12, now in her twenties she can reflect on her experience with having access to social media at such a young age.

There are several pros and cons to social media usage, but it is important to acknowledge those who have first-hand experiences using these platforms from a young age.

The pros and cons of social media for children

Throughout The Better Phone Project sessions, we were lucky enough to hear from several experts in smartphones and young people, who – through their research or work – have experienced the effects of social media on children. One expert was Dr Becky Foljambe, an NHS Doctor who has seen the rise in mental illness in teenage girls with her own eyes.

Not only can social media have negative mental health effects, it can also have unfortunate cognitive effects like reduced attention span. Professor Gloria Mark – who has dedicated her professional studies to the human attention span – found that since the introduction of smartphones and social media that the average attention span has gone down to 75 seconds in 2012 and continued further down to 47 seconds in 2016, with the median attention span being 40 seconds. This much of a drop could be attributed, in part, to the growing popularity of social media platforms.

For all the negatives, there are still lot’s of positives to social media including:

• Staying connected – being connected with friends who have moved towns or being able to video call Grandma who lives in another country.
• Improving digital literacy – being able to navigate online landscapes is an essential skill in today’s age, as well as learning online safety.
• Community – social media allows people to find their own community in things like niche interests or hobbies. It also allows you to connect with your offline community through noticeboards and groups.
• Worldly perspective – social media is great because they are multinational platforms with access to several points of view from people all around the world, allowing children to see what is happening on the other side of the planet.

Age guidelines and restrictions

Each social media platform has their own official age restriction for using the platform. For most platforms this age used to be 13 years old but has since moved up to 16 years old. However, even with official restrictions, these age guidelines are often virtually unregulated, making it easy for children to create and operate accounts on these platforms. We heard from Dr Jean Twenge in The Better Phone Project, she spoke to her studies of Psychology and how it can be difficult to understand where the line is to allow their child on social media due to these unregulated guidelines.

It has come to the point now where official government legislation is now ensuring these social media platforms are the entity to enforce this age range. The Australian Government introduced a law where no Australian under the age of 16 years old can use social media and that social media platforms must enforce this or face fines and disciplinary action.

As a parent, the decision to introduce your child to social media is a personal one—but it's important to recognize that age restrictions set by these platforms exist for a reason. Backed by research into the potential risks of early and unregulated use, these limits are in place to help protect young users.

A parent’s role in safe social media use

Parents play a huge role in a child’s safe social media use. Once you do decide to allow your child on social media, there are still some important things to consider. The first thing a parent should consider is their level of digital literacy with the social media platform. Luisa Fassi, a PHD student at the University of Cambridge says

Understanding the platform helps you understand where your child might find good use of the features, like messaging friends or watching funny videos, but it also allows you to see and understand where potential harms and dangers might come from. As a parent you could also assist in other ways like:

• Having open and honest conversations - creating a comfortable environment free from shame or worry for them to tell you what they’re doing – good or bad.
• Setting clear boundaries and expectations – tell your child what they can and can’t do with social media and make it clear. Stick to these boundaries and make it consistent
• Be a role model – having the platform to understand it, you are now also a role model for social media usage for your children.
• Teach online safety and privacy – online stranger danger is real and should be taught just as much as in person stranger danger.

Building healthy social media habits from day one

Trying to teach social media habits after your child has already downloaded and used social media can be difficult, so it is important to instill these habits from day one of social media usage, or even before if possible. Healthy social media habits are put in place to mitigate the risks that using social media may pose, some habits you could try are:

• Setting time limits – setting a time limit for how long your child can spend on social media, for example, you get 1 hour after school after homework if complete.
• Encouraging purposeful use – setting the standard of purposeful use will help remove ‘mindless scrolling’ and help minimize attention span reduction and time wasting.
• Prioritizing offline life – offline life will be more important. Prioritize real world connections over messaging all day.
• Talking about feelings online – foster a safe space for your child to openly talk about their feelings associated with social media without fear of persecution or judgement, that way if something goes wrong, they will be more inclined to tell you.
• Reinforce the importance of privacy – making sure your child has private accounts, is only interacting with people they know and is never sharing their full name, address, school or other information is an essential habit to build from day one.
• Talk about cyberbullying – talking about cyberbullying from both angles so that your child knows they can come to you if they are feeling bullied as well as knowing that being a ‘keyboard warrior’ is not a good idea and can have harmful real-world effects.

No matter the age – provide ongoing support

There is no one size fits all approach about when to introduce your child to social media. Every child develops at their own pace, and while age guidelines can provide a helpful starting point, it is ultimately about the readiness and the support system you have in place. As a parent, involvement is key – whether it’s about setting boundaries, starting open conversations, or modelling healthy habits yourself. Social media can be a positive part of life and understanding the risks and rewards associated are key in making an informed decision.